Why Every Man Needs a Small Group
It’s weird… in a world supposedly to be more connected, in the cycle of wake-work-sleep, finding a supportive and understanding community — especially a naked community that society often sidelines — can be challenging. This article, adapted from Aleteia.org, explores the benefits of forming male friendships and provides tips on how to cultivate and maintain these connections.
And on that note, we’ve recently launched our own Telegram and Facebook communities for naked travelers to engage with like-minded men on a more personal level (there’s even a section where you can share naked pics).
If I had seen this headline just a few years ago, I would have skipped right through the article. Me in need of a small group? No way. I’m too shy, too busy, and just don’t “click” with other guys that way very often.
But as a man who keenly felt the dwindling of my social circles — especially close friends — after I graduated from college and embarked on my career, I recently found myself committing to a close circle of male friends, and I can already see the benefits of it in my life.
Having a group of men with whom you can grab a drink and engage in open, vulnerable communication not only improves your general life, but also your other relationships — with your friends, colleagues, and community. Through regular conversation, laughter, and honesty, you grow in trust, identify and heal wounds you may never knew you had, and improve your mental health. The synergistic practices of both having a friend and being a friend helps you become more of the person you want to be.
But where do we start?
Here are 5 tips for finding this kind of male fellowship and keeping it going.
1. “Try before you buy”
So where are you going to find these potential best friends? I freely admit that this is the hardest part and very dependent on your current life circumstances.
First, look around your current social circles — coworkers, casual acquaintances — and see if there is anyone who seems to have a little in common with you. Maybe it’s someone with qualities you admire or would like to get to know better. Much like dating, there’s no harm in asking someone out for a beer or a cup of coffee to see if you get along well. Considering the loneliness epidemic so prevalent today, the other person may be just as in need of friendship as you are. If it works out, perhaps one of you knows other men to invite along. There doesn’t need to be an upfront commitment — but the test drive might lead to the beginning of a good friendship.
2. Be vulnerable
Once you’ve found a group of men in whom you trust, there’s often another challenge: confiding in them. The point of this kind of small group is not simply to talk about sports or weather but to have meaningful conversations that go beyond water cooler chats and to help each other grow. This means admitting your faults and sharing the things that you’re struggling with or trying to improve about your life.
This didn’t happen overnight for me, but I have been astounded at the wisdom and advice that the men in my group have shared with each other simply by their willingness to be vulnerable. It’s not the default setting for many men of course, so it’s something you have to proactively commit to and constantly strive for.
3. Set the next date before you leave
One way to ensure that you carve out time in your busy schedule for this important venture is to pull out your phones before you part ways and pick the next time and place. If you don’t set something up as the current meeting is ending, it’s likely that things will languish and suddenly it will be months since you’ve met in person. Establishing a routine is important, even if that routine starts out as just once a month.
4. Do different things together
It’s nice to go out for a beer and enjoy casual conversation, but as the fellowship grows, you’ll want to mix it up. We’ve tackled self-help books that relate to issues we’re dealing with. Last year, we all committed to (mostly) doing a challenge together. The point is that relationships grow through shared experiences and that means you have to move beyond the pub at some point.
5. Stay connected
Regardless of how often you’re meeting in person, it’s important to have other ways of staying connected in the interim. Our group has a perpetual text chain that we use for trading jokes, photos, and important life updates. We genuinely care about one another, find value in our friendships, and like to be informed about each other’s lives. Technology has been a great ally in keeping our group together.
I’m grateful for a group of good men who choose our friendships as an important part of their busy lives. The reward of sharing your baggage with another person, and helping them with theirs, is worth any potential risks. Take it from me, a reluctant small group joiner who’s now a big believer in being part of one.
Feeling like you want to connect with other like-minded men? Come join our Telegram and Facebook groups. You’re not alone.
Hi- I’m interested in all of the above. Good to find this kind of way to connect with other men. Thank you
Great! I’d like to give this a try.
Great idea!
Love being Naked
I like to join
Like nudism!